yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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