WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
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