i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
pop tarts are not kleenex
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
