I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
