Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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