Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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