So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
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