reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
