But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize