There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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