You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
