there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
