did you get engaged???
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
