I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Randomize