plz talk dirty to me
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
