Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
