had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
