If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
