maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
