dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I wish my penis had an off switch
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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