Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
