is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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