If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
