I cockslap morals
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
