Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize