i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
