So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
