That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
