Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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