yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
