Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
