I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize