perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
well, you know. whores of a feather.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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