He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
