I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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