Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
