he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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