Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
