Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
