my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
