And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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