Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
