Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
