I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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