no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
