TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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