moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
