how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
