your thong is hanging out like whoa
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
