And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
