I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
