my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
