I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize