Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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