Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Two words: blizzard sex
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize