Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I want a musical about memes.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
