after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
