ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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