Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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