Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
we're making bets on your personal life
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
