you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I need water and some morals
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
