My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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