What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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