He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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