I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
