It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
