There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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